The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
