I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
