It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize