I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize