Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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