There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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