my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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