I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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