Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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