I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'