Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"