Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done