So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
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thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.