like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras