no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever