i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.