Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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