New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
be right there i have to get my cape
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize