I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize