you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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