She is in my trunk
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
