I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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