Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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