I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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