I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.