I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I still have a little drunk in my system
They have beer where we have blood.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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