on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
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Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.