I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊