dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?