But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
