Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
