Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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