Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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