That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
