He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
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We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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