If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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