dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
