Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
