it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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