I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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