You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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