Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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