the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
