Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize