I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
id be glad to
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize