dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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