so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
