my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
