he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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