Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just had sex on a roof
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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