Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
no you cant smoke seaweed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize