I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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