you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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