I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
