You really coming over, don't trick.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
