why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
