You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize